Hello there,
I'd like to wish you all the best for 2025, and to get the year off to the best possible start, I'd like to comment on one of the subjects most frequently raised by my brides and grooms and the couples who contact me: looking good on pictures. Or rather not looking good.
Let's say you're planning your wedding and you come to the inevitable conclusion that you're not photogenic, yet you obviously need to find a wedding photographer.
From this point, there are two completely opposite reasoning you can have:
I don't look good on pictures, so I'm not spending a lot on photography.
I don't look good on pictures, so I am spending a lot on photography.
Let's take a look at these two visions and why I clearly prefer the second one.
I don't look good on pictures so I'm not spending a lot on photography
This is the most common reasoning. Since I'm not comfortable being on photos, there's no point in giving it too much importance. I might as well give up this desire for images I'm really comfortable with, put an end to this ridiculous egotrip of wanting to look like a star in my wedding photos, and invest more in other services. At least I won't feel frustrated if my wedding reportage does not level up to my expectations since I didn't have expectations to begin with!
The issue I have with this vision is the fact you're not making a choice here, you're just giving up.
This reasoning feels like it's only about resignation. I've got a problem, I can't find a solution, so never mind. Of course a wedding is a constant balancing act between services, budgets and everyone's wishes... But how sad to think that your complexes or a negative view of yourself are going to hold you back during the preparations!
The eternal question of the wedding budget
A wedding is a budget. How a wedding budget is divided up depends on each couple and the priority they give to each service. No choice is worse than another as long as it reflects the personality and tastes of the bride and groom.
For example: I hardly ever drink alcohol. I've never developed a taste for it, I haven't trained my palate, and I now have the tastes of an 8-year-old discovering Champomy. When allocating my wedding budget, I logically invested very little in the drinks for my wedding: no champagne and local wines. I wasn't going to break my piggy bank on drinks if I had about the same taste for wine as a penguin has for long jumping. On the other hand, I accompanied a groom who was a restaurateur, so needless to say that gastronomy, food and wine pairings were an absolute priority and it was essential that the catering service met his requirements.
It's the same thing with photography! There are a million reasons not to invest in a wedding photographer: you're not particularly fond of photography, you prefer video, you're relying on memories captured by friends and family because you don't feel the need to have beautiful shots immortalising your day, and so on.
I'd be lying if I told you that I felt the same way, because capturing these moments and giving them as much of an artistic dimension as possible actually became my job. But I support this reasoning as long as it stems from a genuine choice.
Note : I made a very French joke so in order for you to keep up, Champomy is a French brand making carbonated apple juice for kids in bottles that imitate actual champagne bottles. It's supposed to be served at kids parties. It's basically like cider without the alcohol. You're welcome.
Note 2 : yes French people did create a kids-friendly champagne. We're putting so much effort in our Frenchyness sometimes.
The challenge of personal complexes
My problem with this line of reasoning is that 90% of the time - statistic essentially based on myself - brides and grooms who choose not to invest in photography do so because they feel that beautiful photos ‘don't suit them’. It's not their world, they're going to be uncomfortable, it's vain to want to be immortalised in this way at your wedding, the people around me didn't put that much money into photography, and I'm not photogenic anyway.
In short, it's often scary to opt for editorial wedding photography. You might be afraid of the way people will look at you, afraid that your friends and family will think you're a bit of a megalomaniac. But the fear that comes up most often from brides and grooms who defend this approach is the fear of not feeling legitimate and the fear of being disappointed because the result is bound to be a failure because 'I don't look good on pictures anyway'. Ultimately, the root of the problem is the certainty that you can't look good in photographs.
And it's precisely to combat this fear that I think we need to consider the second line of reasoning.
I don't look good on pictures, so I am spending a lot on photography.
99% of the time, if you tell me that you don't look good on pictures, it means that you're terribly uncomfortable in front of a camera. So you need someone who can guide you step by step. To teach you to let go in front of the lens, to help you (re)find spontaneity and joy with your lover and to enjoy the moment.
I tend to think that it's precisely people who aren't used to taking photos who need skilled, experienced photographers. Photographing a model getting married is easy. You're dealing with someone who knows their body, who knows how to show it off, and who is already aware of what they can achieve in images and therefore has no (or less) apprehension. But this scenario is one in a million. Most couples need all the more help and guidance, because deep down we all want wonderful photos that make us feel like film stars. We all need, from time to time, to be the hero of our own story. If not on your wedding day, then when?
Considering that 'you don't look good’ on pictures is exactly why investing in an ‘expensive’ photographer makes sense.
Why should being ambitious in terms of photography necessarily mean spending money?
Of course I want pretty photos! But why should I necessarily have to pay thousands of euros for a trendy photographer? Someone who's nice, who wants to do a good job, that's more than enough, isn't it?
Well, not necessarily.
The limits of wedding photojournalism
I think a lot of us started out in wedding photography as photojournalists: not intervening in the action, being on the lookout for the slightest action to immortalise the raw emotions. In short, taking stolen photos.
Far be it from me to denigrate this approach: it has led to the creation of some of my favourite shots, and many photographers have elevated it to the level of Art. Some can create masterful compositions by ‘simply’ being able to place themselves in the right place at the right time. It's an incredible skill that I admire enormously. It's all the more important in a wedding reportage because it's impossible to get the bride and groom and their guests to pose 100% of the time (and what a pain it would be if we tried).
Having said that, the bride and groom, while very attentive to the images capturing the emotions of their loved ones and the way in which those loved ones are going to celebrate them, are generally just as keen to have photos of themselves. A couple's photo session is practically a must at a wedding. It's a chance to celebrate yourself (which is the entire point of a wedding), to be immortalised in your most beautiful attire and to have images that will make you dream of your wedding day forever.
You may well feel that you don't need photos taken in an editorial style and that, even for your couple photos, you want spontaneity above all else. Be careful of what spontaneity means though.
Candid pictures
Who hasn't dreamt of having a photo of them laughing out loud as they embrace their spouse on their wedding day? Who hasn't thought, ‘Oh, that's exactly what I want!’ looking at the picture of a stolen kiss, an exchange of glances, a hand on the waist or a caress in the hair?
Welcome to what we call candid photography, i.e. images that give the impression of total spontaneity without actually being spontaneous. Of course, the photographer doesn't necessarily go so far as to say "put your hand here, move your face back a centimetre, there you go, don't move", but he or she does have to create the atmosphere and situations to capture these moments of lightness. These candid photos require your photographer to have a special skill called posing.
Let's talk about posing
The concept of posing refers to both the art of posing and the art of getting people to pose. I discovered this after several years in the wedding world, and I think that all photographers go through this (painful) realization: even seemingly spontaneous photos need to be guided and accompanied by the couple. No couple's session can rely solely on the bride and groom. Personally, I was in a cold sweat during my first couple sessions because I had literally no idea what I was doing.
Posing is an essential skill for any wedding photographer, and paradoxically I feel it's the slowest and most difficult to acquire. It requires a great deal of training and analysis of one's own images and the images of other photographers (a great deal) in order to hone one's eye and find those images give the illusion of hazard and will remain stolen moments in the mind of the couple.
Photography is a craft
How many times have I said or written that sentence?
Photography is a craft. And like all crafts, it comes at all prices. The more experience and skill a photographer gains, the more they develop their eye, their own style, their ability to create opportunities for beautiful images, the more they will charge, and that's normal. All wedding-related crafts have entry-level and luxury prices. And luxury providers aren't ripping anyone off, they're simply able to sell (very) high quality crafts effectively.
Feeling uncomfortable with photography can be just the reason to hire a skilled craftsman.
Skills to enhance your images
An experienced, competent photographer, trained in different approaches to photography, is the guarantee that he'll be able to put you at ease, guide you and create with and for you those famous candid photos or fashion magazine editorial photos that you've been dreaming about. It doesn't matter whether you're initially comfortable or not. It's his job to create quality images, no matter how uncomfortable the model is. Relying on him is actually all the more relevant if you know that you're very uncomfortable taking photos.
Your wedding day is the moment in your life when you have the right to have images in which you look your best, at ease and brimming with joy and self-confidence. But this comes at a price, because it can only be achieved by the photographer thanks to the many skills he or she has developed through weddings, training, questioning and perfecting his or her craft.
If you're currently preparing for your wedding, and you're wandering around wedding forums (as we all have), you may have come across the unfortunately tenacious belief that all you have to do is look hard enough to find that rare pearl, the talented photographer who doesn't even know he's talented yet and who will give you a 4000-dollars-worth wedding reportage for 1,500 bucks.
There is no such photographer. If he's just starting out, he'll probably be able to create some magnificent images for you without even really knowing himself what he did to get there. That's what we call serendipity. But it'll only be a dozen or so images. A wedding reportage is 400, 500, 600 images. 600 photos that can reflect the variety, richness and uniqueness of your wedding. Rendering all that requires experience and skill. It's not ‘just’ moving around and pressing a button. And this experience, this skill, has to be paid for, that's normal.
I'd like to take the liberty of debunking the ‘some people charge too much and rip people off’ argument: yes, but those people will find it hard to last in a profession as fiercely competitive as wedding photography. It's estimated that there's 90% turnover in our profession. For every 100 photographers who start out, only 10 will still be there 12 months later. Because it is that hard. Because we are that many. Yes, Jean-Michel Incompetent, who charges 5,000 dollars for blurry pictures and weird compositions does exist, but I bet that in two years' time, Jean-Michel will have turned to pastry-making or painting sugared almonds. It's not even belief, it's basic common sense. It takes no more than half a second to compare the work of several professionals on Instagram or websites: do you really think that there are thousands of lousy but very expensive photographers who rip off brides and grooms (and the other wedding professionals who end up at their events) without ever being caught and denounced? I give my pictures to couples and other providers. I'm telling you: a wedding planner can and will flay me alive if I provide terrible work to her and her clients.
Conclusion: make a real choice
Don't admit defeat when it comes to photography just because you're scared or don't feel legitimate. On the other hand, be aware that if you are demanding when it comes to photography and you have no experience of posing, you will have to adapt your budget to your requirements, because good photographers value their work, and being able to offer variety, quality support and mastery of light in all the circumstances of a wedding day comes at a price.
Of course, you have the right to decide that you don't have the desire or the budget to devote to photography. But before you make your decision, consider the two reasons described here.
Make your choice of photographer a well-considered decision, carefully based on your abilities, your budget and your desires. Don't let your fears or complexes decide that it's not worth trying.
That would be a shame!
With that memorable pep-talk, I'm off to look after my delicious child.
To find out more about my approach, click here, and for a glimpse of some of my weddings, take a look at my portfolio.
Kisses on the forehead,
Manon
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